Castle of the Black Dragon

Click here to navigate to my 2022 diary.


⛧ 3/15/2021

I'd really like to start recording my theology from now on as it happens, since I feel as though my thoughts and beliefs are pretty disorganized and all over the place. So let us begin.

My journey with Satan officially began late 2016, I believe. He made His appearance as a comfort to past trauma, as I was primarily Kemetic at the time and remained so for several years. It was a confusing time, and my feelings for Satan were shaky because of how Christianity had taught me to feel about Him. Yet, the Devil was gentle with me and extraordinarily patient. Over time, Satanism became more relevant to me and I amassed relationships with more and more denizens of Hell; Raum, Babylon the Great, Ephialtes, just to name a few.

On Halloween night of 2018, I met with the Devil and asked of Him to send me a dream, to which He delivered. Satan had offered me a pact. I understand this as fact and not just wishful psychology due to waking up to a bird in my room afterwards. I held restraint and did not agree right away, and still haven’t, but eventually I believe I will. Priesthood is something I’ve always dreamed of, and just maybe, Satan (and by extension the rest of Hell) shall be the one.

More time passes, and in 2020 Satanism replaces Kemeticism as my primary religion (although the latter is still a part of me). I am shaping my own beliefs, my own rituals. I recognize the Seven Satans, hellish cosmology, my place in the world and in Hell as the Manticore, the associations of the Satans, my religions moral axis, a calendar, and much more. My first seasonal holiday was the Fall Equinox of September 22nd, funny enough. Satanism was no longer a side project of solely my relationship to the Devil and a couple other infernal friends, but a true belief system that affected me in all parts of life. I saw myself in an ecosystem, both cosmic and mundane. Hell is the state of nature living in perfect unity, and we are to ensure nature functions as it naturally does.

And on a smaller scale, I am to live as I naturally am. That’s not to say I may do as I please or should live naked in the woods, but to believe in man’s inherent goodness and recognize that how we function, create, and feel does not have to be burdened by notions of asceticism, greed, bigotry, fascism, capitalism, and other manmade cruelties. We may still build our homes as birds built their nests, we may still wear makeup as stags decorate themselves, but these things do not have to come at the price of stolen land or self-hatred. Moreover, on the other hand, I recognize that I retain the responsibility to account for my own cruelties, acknowledging that my arrogance, my trust issues, my personal problems, are not who I naturally have to be and must be actively worked with throughout my life. Sometimes these cruelties are even given to you, but regardless of where they come from, everyone has the ability to do good.

In the end, my wish is to be a benefit to the world in some way. Not just to Hell, or Satan, but to the Earth and those among it. On scales large and small, to plants, animals, and the inanimate, both in life and in death. I know I will contribute my own evils, as everyone with age does, but perhaps if I try hard enough, I can more than make up for it.

⛧ 3/15/2021

So, the creation and division of Worlds. This should best be prefaced by cosmology, or perhaps even the entire entry expanded to chronological mythology, but my current conclusion is shaky, vague, and full of holes. Overtime it shall come together as I read on the theologies of others and live my own experiences, but I believe speaking on what I have now will lay a steadier groundwork for incorporating the aforementioned theologies and experiences I deem relevant, sensible, and interesting.

But to do so I feel I must provide a disclaimer. I am of the belief that all of the supernatural, its deities, realms, habits, practices, what have you, arose from human thought. That is not to say the cosmology I shall put forth is not true, but that it is not true in the sense Satan literally created the Earth. Much like how Hell exists below the soil, but not literally. If we can pose these paradoxes spatially, it should be within reason to accept them temporally, as well. We have materially created our demons, ascribing Them histories beyond our own, and to me that is not to different from assigning Them anything else. Colours, elements, feelings. They were created, but They are real and by power of belief became Their own entities with their own stories. And by belief does this cosmology reign as factual. Perhaps in time I will be able to explain it with clarity, but for now, just trust me.

My Influences

To be honest with you, my religion has always been a heavy mix of many different things, both pro-Satanic and not. Mostly not, as Satanism itself as we know it is a product of ‘the other side’s’ own opinions on what the religion constitutes. In the past handful of decades, it has become increasingly independent of Abrahamic input as individuals begin to practice it earnestly, but we nonetheless cannot deny that it was built upon the world’s dark side, no matter if the perception of which is reasonable or not. The Devil is thrown that which we fear, which we hate, which we deny ourselves. Some appropriately deemed an evil, such as alcoholism or serial killing, while others are needless and reflect an unjust on the behalf of the beholder, such as homosexuality or vaccinations. As someone who views Satan favourably, I’m in the lot of ascribing the demonic these ‘false evils’, feeding off the accusations of Gnostics, Evangelicals, Fundamentalists, and their adjacent type. If the shouting of my favourite punk bands are to be the modern Devil’s trumpet, then so be it.

With the curiosity of these ‘evils’ given to Satan perhaps not being so bad, what of the ‘evils’ Satan supposedly gave us? The temptation of the forbidden fruit, the inherent defilement of the body, the very material world we live in and love, what of these things? Are they possibly a bit kinder than what was taught?

The key in all of this here is to recognize contexts and reframe such information with the idea that morals inform religious beliefs, and not necessarily the other way around. How I personally view my beliefs is not because they have been deemed correct by a higher power, and certainly not when given such a hatred for Satan by our culturally Christian society, but because I observe them based upon what I understand is just. With that I’m allowed a much different perspective on Abrahamic mythology. My favourites, which you shall get tastes of in my mythology, come from dualistic Gnosticism, western occultism of centuries past, and the modern American religious environment in which I was born into. Not to mention canonical Abrahamic texts, of course, as many other Satanists rely on.

Though, while all relatively independent on their own, it’s to be remembered that these theologies come together as one within me and lend themselves to one another. They have influenced me, and as I hold them inside myself, I influence them and spit these mythologies I so dearly love back out into the world into a newly formed mass, perhaps even to be picked apart and chewed up by yet another doing just as I am. And if by some cosmic chance you, whomever you are, are reading this intending to do exactly that, I bid you welcome to whatever may please you, but most of all, thank you.

The Winds

As I stated in my disclaimer, I believe that the supernatural spawned from the material world. Our thoughts created it and fed it until it was big enough to stand on its own, and in turn it formed us in its own way. I alluded to how it was possible to be created both literally and paranormally, with beliefs of the latter only reaching realization in the past tens of thousands of years in the universe’s entire span of existence. Here I hope to elaborate that with some degree of linearity, but it still requires the placing of history after the fact.

For much of my religious life mingling with paganism and the occult, there has been a concept that has stuck with me to explain divination, mental communication, the occurrence of signs without physical cause to put them there, the performance of magic, how it is that our own thoughts might bring about coincidences, and much more. It is a force that carries up our thoughts, feelings, energies, what have you, out into a great metaphysical flow that courses through all worlds. This concept I have affectionately named “The Winds” for how it behaves, but you might better recognize it in similar concepts such as the Primordial Sea, Chaos, vibrations, or energy waves, all resembling a vast sea of thought.

All of reality, whether on our Earthly world or in the pits of Hell, operates on two overlapping and involved fields. The first is a material reality. What we touch, what we see, matter and mass, this is our material reality. The second is of the Winds. This is what we think and feel. There is some grey between the two as a transitionary period of the material producing the Winds, too, of course. In a way it’s giving spiritual meaning to the electrical sparks of nerves and the ‘thought’ of cells, both material actions that begot a nonmaterial product: consciousness.

Given this, with the first long forgotten (unfinished)

all that mundane shit happens and blah blah and then as the first Thoughts are formed and some level of consciousness is placed into the universe by life and with that The Winds are created and The Winds is the primordial state in which man creates mythology and then mythology goes back and creates us

⛧ 3/21/2021; Spring Equinox

In the afternoon of March 20, 2021, I cleaned up my room as best as I could in the allotted time, brushed my hair and teeth, got dressed, and cleared old seasonal decorations (a few dead leaves) to be left in Leviathan’s Creek. At around three or four PM, I performed my Spring Equinox ritual.

On my coffee table, I laid out the white handkerchiefs my grandma had given me in which I placed my icons and seasonal decorations. Before Them was a candle plate painted with an owl, where I placed Satan’s candle and an offering of dragon’s blood incense. And yet before that were two more candles, the left for Hell and the right for Earth. On the left of my set up was 3/4ths of a cake I had baked the night before, and on the right was my beloved camel beanie baby and my wooden staff.

The first step was to cleanse my space. I prayed to Moloch, that His divine smoke might purify my room, my life, and myself. Satan and His will was established to replace what had been kicked out. Walking around my room clockwise, starting from the West, I spoke that all directions were pure as well. I made my rounds a total of seven times, the number of Satans, to ensure all bases were covered. This incense stick was then placed at the very front, before the candles of Hell and Earth.

At this point I lit candles and incense and began my incantation, raising my beloved tree branch to the sky and reading from my phone:

Hail Moloch!
Gatekeeper of Hell, Who purifies me by the grace of His presence
I ask the boundary opened so that I might pass through it and speak with Those I desire
I ask for Your blessing in union with Hell
Hail Moloch!

After each verse, a downward motion of the staff was to be made, symbolic of a Fall, bringing everything in place and away from H/eaven.

The next part is to be said in their respective directions, moving clockwise, with the staff pointing in such (brought inward against the chest for Within, and simply raised aloft for Hail Satan), and a downward motion after each invocation. Above, Below, and Within count as rotational turns, so they would land facing West, South, and North, and leaving our “Hail Satan” at completion. (I hadn’t done this at the time, but Hail Myself can be added at the end as a final rotation back to facing the altar, since ending away can leave it feeling unfinished sometimes.)

Hail to the demons of the West, of Water, Satanael! I praise and invoke Thee
Hail to the demons of the South, of Fire, Asmodeus! I praise and invoke Thee
Hail to the demons of the East, of Air, Lucifer! I praise and invoke Thee
Hail to the demons of the North, of Earth, Belial! I praise and invoke Thee
Hail to the demons of Above, of the Alchemized, Beelzebub! I praise and invoke Thee
Hail to the demons of Below, of the Natural State, Azazel! I praise and invoke Thee
Hail to the demons of Within, of Together, Baphomet! I praise and invoke Thee
Hail Satan!
(Hail Myself!)

Downward. Now, the altar is faced. You could do this facing directionally if you prefer, but personally I just wasn’t really feeling like it.

May I be one with all things within Babylon the Great,
encircled by Leviathan,
and cradled by Moloch


May I be the West, Water, Satanael
May I be the South, Fire, Asmodeus
May I be the East, Air, Lucifer
May I be the North, the Earth, Belial
May I be Above, the Alchemized, Beelzebub
May I be Below, the Natural State, Azazel
May I be Within, Together, Baphomet
May I be Satan! May I be Satan
(May I be myself)


Hail Satan!

Downward. And then on to a more lyrical incantation.

By my will, I, The Manticore, expel H/eaven
I expel that which is against nature and poisons our humanity
Our peace, our warmth, our righteous, our love
Begone is selfishness, neglect, bigotry, cruelty
Man need never betray themself


So today, for my siblings of species,
And cousins of universe
I rebuke G/o/d and establish Hell purely among the Earth
Hail to Satan, the Lord of this World
Hail to the demons of its material, emotion, thought, spirit
Hail to ourselves and to each other


We are pure in our righteousness,
made whole in our compassion,
and avenged in our wrath
free at last in unity with the demonic
Join together in grace and power
O water, O fire, O air, O earth
met in every direction
within and without

Downward. Now to the holiday incantation, which I clumsily put together the day of, proclaiming the season of Lucifer.

Hail Lucifer, Who has risen from the East as the guiding sun to herald our Hell forth
You Who has rallied us together
Out from our pain and above it
Awoken us with the dawn’s light
Hail Lucifer, Hail Satan, Hail Hell


Grace us with fresh winds to clean us and carry us
Ridding our sorrows and cruelties
For we must now grow and begin to organize
Alone we may be strong but together are we invincible
Hail Lucifer, Hail Satan, Hail Hell


Come now to a better life
O, those of Earth and Hell Who stand alongside me
May we love and support each other
Brought together in our Unholy Union
Hail Lucifer, Hail Satan, Hail Hell


And thus ended my incantations.

From here on is free choice and unscripted. The cake and incense were offered to Lucifer and all those Who wished it. Dear companions were welcomed; Raum, Duke Zepar, Duke Flauros, Ephialtes. In this moment we sat together to breath in the air Satan has made for us and contemplate the coming spring. This, unfortunately, did not survive long as I heard my sister was home and knew she’d want to show me what she got at a video game store. Candles were hastily blown out and I went to hold the door so she wouldn’t enter. A suggestion then washed over me to calm down, relax, and think through the most rational thing to do. My sister then headed to the bathroom, so I was allowed some time to cover up.

First was of course to change clothes, since I’d really prefer my sister didn’t catch me with my tits out. Once I was in a sweatshirt and shorts, I thanked Hell for the time we shared and began to clean up. I had only picked up a small bit when she did finally come in, and to my humour did not acknowledge my peculiar table display in the slightest, only proclaiming to her boyfriend that she was right about him smelling the incense. Sometimes I feel as though my stuff and I are under some sort of divine protection for me to have lasted this long with only once suspicion, but I don’t dare test it.

The rest was put away with care, the seasonal decorations adorned, and I went along with my day.

⛧ 3/22/2021

Slowly, I’ve been realizing the immense power behind “So sayeth the Manticore” as a magical statement. Even to declare myself who I am alone gives me a feeling of empowerment. It is my identity, my role, my place in this world. It is what I am and what I can do.

⛧ 3/25/2021

The concept of a self-centered path has awoke within me again as I read on chaos magic and contemplate myself. It’s been turbulent with testosterone, and so I’ve spent a great deal of time on my identity and working out mental problems. On my worst nights I call to my supernatural friends, but They can only do so much with what my brain’s like in these moments. Alas, I do mourn it.

It seems so many current points draw inward, to self-importance. Who I am, what I can do, what I’d like to become. And so I’m planning on focusing on my position as a denizen of Hell myself, and empowering myself through both Earthly and magical means. Dear Raum has often nudged me towards the latter, and I must say I agree with Him. Magic has been a bit of a backseat interest of mine, and I do a bit of it through ritual, but I feel it may be more than beneficial to place power in my hands and become self-reliant. I would like to be able to sustain and help myself when I can, and help others, without need for a divine blessing.

Medieval magic within the context of my own environment feels like an ideal way to go, but we’ll see how it goes. The practices of my ancestors would also been a great choice, but I fear how obscured it’d be by new ageism and modern assumptions of witchcraft. Tragic.

⛧ 4/2/2021

With the inspiration given by Condensed Chaos by Phil Hine, the Dictionary of Ancient Magic Spells and Word translated by Claude Lecouteux, and revelations for my own love of vocal magic, I’ve created a few of my own magic words:

  • [REDACTED] – Raum is with me
  • Piriest Nytsyriest Ifllawsuh – I am well rested when I wake up
  • [REDACTED] – I am the Manticore

While these steps are bound to change, be skipped, added onto, and tossed around as needed, the base procedure is as follows:

  • Base statement of intent
  • Base is written backwards
  • Vowels inverted (aeiouy – yuoiea)
  • Keyword is spread throughout (Kxx Exxx YxxWx Oxxxx RxxD)
  • No words start with vowels
  • Further condensed to whatever number of words the die decides
  • Sacrificed vowels revived and placed wherever
  • Vowels forwarded along aeiouy alphabet number of letters in keyword
  • Condensed one last time to magician’s taste, but must still retain the letters of the keyword
  • Dressed in bonus letters (est, i, ria, ave, etc.)

I’ve yet to charge or utilize these words, but it’s been fun making them. Over time they should be more refined, and I’m not planning to confine myself to insisting any word remains as it was original intended. If it changes, so be it. Perhaps I shall bring them to Raum to help me, but aside from that I’m unsure what methodology to use in order to get these phrases working. ‘[Raum is with me]’ is one I’ll definitely want to communicate to Him, at least.

Maybe I’ll speak them into the storm next time it rains, or follow the typical “focus really hard and then cast” technique. We’ll see.

⛧ 4/9/2021

Behemoth is most often interpreted as a hippo or elephant, but upon reading more about Him it occurred to me that His mythology sounds so much like the mythology of the unicorn that realizing their similarities almost felt like a revelation. Behemoth is king of land and the symbol of all wild animals, but subdued under the wrath of g/od as h/is pet, and from Behemoth’s roar are all other animals frightened lest they become too violent. The unicorn is kept as a pet by royals to symbolize man’s taming of the wild, turning the once proud and aggressive unicorn into a chained docile lap dog.

Unicorns already feel satanic to me, in that they inspire us to break free from our chains of repression and oppression and instead embrace our “wild” selves. And I think Behemoth also deserves that liberation.

Behemoth’s relationship with Leviathan is also something to be spoken of. Leviathan’s beloved has already been slain by g/od and knows the fate awaiting His terrestrial brother. With all the love within the serpent, why fight Behemoth at the end of days knowing They’re victims the same? Surely They both know that, whether devoted or rebelled, heaven plans to slay and devour Them. Leviathan would’ve helped His counterpart break from the collar and recognize the unity and power He and His children have. And from then is the mighty roar not a threat upon every child’s life, but a call to action. A call to unite and be not afraid, for g/od fears us. We do not fear g/od.

⛧ 4/12/2021

Leviathan treks up the Arkansas River, and then to land, in search of His brother Behemoth. He sees Himself in Behemoth and seeks to warn Him of g/ods plan and extend a hand to fight alongside Him.

Points of topic:

  • Why Leviathan would drag across the dry earth to speak with His heavenly archenemy
  • Leviathan does not ask that Behemoth give up His love for g/od, only to recognize truth
  • Behemoth was created after the death of the other Leviathan and was perhaps lied to by g/od that She never existed
  • Behemoth has always been alone, having struck fear in all other animals

⛧ 4/16/2021

Vaccine side effects are hitting me so I tried out a spell to make me feel better.


  • Scissors (To cut dandelion leaf)
  • Pill Bottle (Chosen vessel for obvious reasons)
  • Spoon (Stirring)
  • Dandelion Leaf (Represents the body)
  • Water (To clean away illness and purify)
  • Milk (To nourish)
  • Honey (To sweeten the experience)
  • Ibuprofen (Ibuprofen)
  • Green Candle (Promotes general health)

First, a dandelion leaf from the Wall of Azazel was cut, as this deals with base needs. Then the rest of the items collected. I didn’t care much to bring the water, milk, and honey down in individual cups, so I just went ahead and put them in the pill bottle.

Once everything was gathered and placed on my workspace, I washed my hands reciting “I am clean. I am healthy. I am not troubled by ailments.” during and after. I then sat down and lit the candle and took a second to gather myself. What I had said has already left me, but it was an approximation of this:

I am the Manticore
I am the Magician
I am the Priest
I am the Antichrist

I bring the water, which cleanses and purifies me
I bring the milk, which nourishes and gives me what I need
I bring the honey, which soothes with sweetness and good things

The mixture is then stirred counterclockwise seven times to get rid of the back shit, and then clockwise to bring in the good. Now, the ibuprofen is dropped in.

Just so you remember what you’re for

Then comes the dandelion leaf, folded up to fit in the pill bottle, declared to represent my body. The concoction is stirred again seven times counterclockwise and seven times clockwise. I held it over the lit green candle and recited:

iiiiiiii dont remember lol

⛧ 4/17/2021

(copy and pasted from discord)

for me i interpreted fate simply as the result of all actions taken before it. that every thing was accounted for and these things came to its natural resolution. but reading this im wondering if there is some kind of element of chance to it. if i were to follow my own model, would that not mean fate is predestined by the very fact cause leads to consequence? is there an element of chance to every little thing that happens that might lead to an "unnatural" ending? sure some things are more likely than others but there is no possible way anything has a truly zero percent chance of occurrence

i figured chaos magic was about betraying natural systems to bring a result fate normally would not lead you to but reading this has reframing it more to be about drawing in those minuscule yet non-zero numbers and playing the mechanisms of how action flows rather than the actions themselves

⛧ 6/1/2021

met with Satan Satanael last night just laying on the floor listening to an album ive never heard before, but clicked on because of the title. idk if it was just the ambiance letting my imagination run but i envisioned a grand church within a castle where He stood at the pulpit lecturing to and questioning me. that i have ambitions, i have a place to belong, that i have relationships and a destiny, but oh how do i forget. i forget. and that i shall forget much of this encounter yet again.

but i do remember what i want to be. i remember the feeling of His body in all material things; the wood of the coffee table, the bristles of the carpet, the candle light against the ceiling. i remember that He is like us; divinity and humanity are not mutually exclusive. i remember the passion for my work coming back. i remember the rain. i remember the stained glass and stone floors. i remember the cradling of my head in His hands as i knelt before the altar.

He told me i wanted to build a church, but to whos god? and to mine, of course. that was easy. but who is my god? is it Satan? Fate? someone ive yet to meet, or have already long past? or perhaps my god is myself. is that desire wrong of me? to not lend anyone else that ultimate authority but my own will?

yet maybe thats my problem. i wont let anyone take care of me. i cannot build this castle on my own; not if i want it to stand. in fact by very virtue of what i wish to be, and perhaps will be, i must paradoxically allow that submission. i dont have to, and He wont make me, but to embody the Devil, perform His work, and grant Him the ability to make changes in my life, I must entrust Him with the vulnerability of dependency. something i hardly ever feel safe doing in a few days, ill likely forget this encounter, like ive forgotten many significant ones before it. i only hope that writing this helps, and that He retains the patience to remind me every once in a while.

⛧ 11/24/2021

Lately, I’ve been attempting to use the castle I encountered the Devil in a vision (Entry 6/1/2021) as the backdrop to meditation. Through this I’m hoping to establish a place of connection to Hell and facilitate something within myself, as well. It seems to be working fine. I have my own room in which I typically wake up in first thing. It’s my place of grounding.

Locations within this manmade realm are as follows:

  • A great field. This is the land on which the castle stands. These plains are endless in every direction. Not sure I’ve ever seen anything else across it.
  • A scattered wood on the edge of immediate castle grounds. Currently unexplored.
  • The chapel. Often dark and solemn, this is where I both lead a congregation of demons and ghosts, and am a part of it. This location was the first to form.
  • The residential hallway. Self-explanatory. It’s lined with a long rug down it’s length and torches along it’s walls. This hallway bears the door to my room.
  • My quarters. Small, about half the size of my bedroom in the waking world. It rests a few floors upwards on the chapel side of the castle. The room is stone with a few soft rugs and a single window. There is a bed, a right angled desk, a wooden chair, a wardrobe, some books, and a black teddy bear. A fireplace is currently disputed due to logical conflicts. While I have not looked inside the wardrobe, I have gone there bearing black monk’s robes and a knight’s uniform, both with a symbolic manticore’s tail tied to them.
  • Some miscellaneous chill room. I have not yet seen all of the room, but this location houses a coffee table between two large, comfortable chairs and a roaring fireplace. There are bookshelves against the fireplaces wall, presumably built into it?
  • An exterior stone staircase leading up to a tower. These steps overlook a part of the forest and offer a great view from the plains below to the stars above.

Residents and visitors:

  • Satan. An obvious one, though I usually don’t witness Him in a literally sense, but as a presence. Especially within the chapel.
  • Raum. Dear friend.
  • Duke Zepar.
  • Assorted demons and infernals.
  • Assorted ghosts of the Dead in Hell.
  • The Custodian of the Castle. Performs maintenance when I cannot.
  • Myself. I am simply myself, only clad in a knights uniform and occassionally monk’s robes. From my hip a manticore’s tail hangs. I am the priest, the attendant, the monk, the scholar, the magician, the hierophant. I am the son of the Devil.

⛧ 11/24/2021

This occurred a few nights ago as I placed myself within the castle. Difficult to say if it was in any way real, but it’s undeniable worth comes in the form of the thoughts it provokes.

I awoke in the Castle, laying in bed, when the Custodian came to my room to inform me I had a visitor. We travelled down stairs to meet a newly fallen angel, someone named As?????odel. They bore blue hair that reminded me of the demon Dominion from Shin Megami Tensei, which is likely where my brain got the imagery. As?????odel was relaxed and friendly, though a little willfully neglectful of the depth of the situation. But I suppose we all have things left unknown, allowing for others to blindly criticize. I don’t know how They ended up in the Castle, it was pretty fuzzy. And, again, I can’t say it was real or imaginary. Currently leaning towards the latter.

Regardless, we spoke for a bit and suddenly I had the thought that perhaps this being is my former guardian angel. They denied this, and said “Your guardian angel is angry.” And there I could envision Him. Fiery rage, long red hair, with white and crimson robes.

Do I really have a guardian angel all this time? I thought.

What has happened to Him now? Surely He must’ve fallen.

All I could receive were emotional impressions of a demon jaded by His past. I believe His name now is “******”, if He exists at all.

⛧ 11/24/2021

Today is, unfortunately, Thanksgiving. And, unfortunately, my extended family has decided yet again to attend an in-person gathering with many unvaccinated individuals during a pandemic. Of course, I did not go. But what I did do is take advantage of the privacy and left over bread rolls that remained here with me by giving an outdoors offering to the Dead in Hell.

These individuals I have only mentioned in the briefest of terms in the entry before last, but they are the deceased human beings who were also Satanists and adjacent occultists, those who have been unjustly damned, and those with nowhere else to go. All individuals who have ended up in Hell for one reason or another (within a moral requirement. I don’t fuck with people who deserve the punishment) are included in this group of the Dead.

Now, I forget if I’ve spoken on it before, but my attempts at connecting with my blood ancestors have not been fruitful regardless of the many times I’ve tried. Besides, it’s difficult to honour everyone properly when they all follow a thousand different beliefs and ended up in a hundred different afterlifes, not to mention the great number of Christian ancestors. This is not their fault, nor is it a bad thing, but it makes it complicated for someone like me who has trouble reconciling different belief systems.

The Dead in Hell, however, have at the very least given me a presence to feel.

And I feel it.

Anyway, the offering ritual to our dearly departed.

A bit of a confession here, first. My bedroom, in which I house my shrine, is a mess, and so I’ve opted to going outside for more formal rites. It was a bit chilly and very windy, but otherwise it was a lovely afternoon.

My tools:

  • Icon of the Dead in Hell (red candle in a silver-ish holder designed to be a dragon curling around a skull)
  • Lighter
  • Satanic Circle (Print Out)
  • Dragon’s Blood Anointing Oil
  • Randomly Picked Incense (& Holder)
  • Bowl of Bread Rolls

First, the table was set upon the height of the concrete steps facing Leviathan’s Creek. This location has been my makeshift altar for a while now. It’s the central point in my backyard, and while I’d love to be able to perform my duties in the creek itself, it’s a public space and I would rather not have any unsympathetic individuals catch me hailing the Devil there.

The ritual began with an incantation to the Dead in Hell. As per usual, I don’t recall what I said impromptu, but it was along the lines of this:

Hail to the Dead in Hell
Hail Satan, Hail Earth, Hail Hell
Hail to the Dead in Hell
To those who’ve shared my tradition
To those damned to the pit
To those who have nowhere else to go
Hail to the Dead in Hell
The fiery ghosts
The damned Dead

May you be one with all things within Babylon the Great
Encircled by Leviathan and cradled by Moloch
May you take on as many
Or as little
Qualities of Satan you do so choose
May you be Satan

I’ll spare you the standard “I offer you this so that happens and I offer you that so this happens”, but that’s what happened at this point. Bread, incense, and anointment. And now my closing.

Please me kind to me and accept me
For one day I will be among you
Please guide me, teach me, love me

Hail Satan
Hail Earth
Hail Hell
Hail to the Dead in Hell

And at that moment, a strong wind swept the candle light out. As I said.

I feel them.

⛧ 11/29/2021

Recalling back to the guardian demon thing, I have been attempting to reach contact with ***** (name still to be understood, but it’s a decent placeholder). Not much has come of it, but I wouldn’t necessarily name it a failure. Even in this moment as I listen to my playlist a song arises that reminds me of Him, He War by Cat Power.

It would be beneficial to investigate guardian angel lore and communication to see where ***** is perhaps coming from. I’ve read that they often manifest as your conscience, intuition, and instinct, but I’ve been lucky not to need those things too much recently.

⛧ 12/18/2021

(Written in response to a weekly discussion prompt: 1. Do you have any holidays you celebrate as part of your polytheistic tradition this time of year? What are they, how do you celebrate them?)

Winter Solstice - This marks the moment in the yearly cosmological cycle after the Fall (of beings formerly known as angels) in which They have settled down upon the Earth, finding comfort in each other after the destruction of the revolution. This is a time to rest, reflect, and come to terms with the changes of the prior year. Come Spring, we'll be ready to build upon the dreams we've fought so hard for and establish Hell.

Antichristmas - I'm an American who was raised in a Christian household, so Christmas was a pretty big deal growing up. I fell out of caring much about it for a while, but the past few years I've began to like it again. It's a tradition I want to continue as a Satanist, so I've adapted it into Antichristmas. It's got pretty much the same stuff going on, just more devilishly tinted. In this holiday we take efforts towards and celebrate our ideal selves, as, to me, the Antichrist represents what many would call the "Higher Self", albeit not exactly. Gift giving is obviously still included, but specifically in the context that these gifts are supposed to aid us in achieving our own Antichrists.

I also read on some back-of-the-internet websites that the Christmas Tree is supposed to represent the tree in the Garden of Eden, so I've taken a different angle to that. You're encouraged to take from this tree, as Satan wants you to, with the Forbidden Fruit being represented by the presents, and the presents aiding you in the pursuit of your own divinity. This tradition is a ritual reenactment of the Original Sin, so that we may always be enlightened and continuously renewed as better versions of ourselves. (There's no presents under it, but I have a small tree covered in Teddy Bear ornaments and a single plastic snake)